LinkedIn Profile Review and Critique: Ram Bhagat

December 17th, 2010 | by Jason Alba |

Last week in Maryland I met a brilliant materials engineer who was very open to a LinkedIn Profile critique. He gave me permission to do the critique here, even though it might get a little raw.

Want a LinkedIn Profile Critique like this? Let me know.  It is currently priced at $99.

I’m going to start from the beginning… first, his email signature (since that is how I get to his LinkedIn Profile):

linkedin_critique_Ram

I need to do a different post to critique this signature, which is pretty good (he’s doing a lot of good stuff here), but I’ll keep it at the link by the arrow… unfortunately, when I click on that link it takes me to this page:

linkedin_critique_Ram_404

So in his email signature he’s sending people to a bad page.  First thing to fix: go into his automated email signature and CHANGE THAT so people can click on it and get to the RIGHT page (which is this).

Now, let’s get to the meat of it:

HEADER

linkedin_critique_Ram_1

ONE: in general, I don’t like anything in the name field except the name.  Ph.D. is impressive but I have NO IDEA what FASM means… I would recommend the FASM definitely comes out.

TWO: the picture is good… a little “stuffed shirt,” but he’s in the D.C. area, and not to generalize but that’s kind of par for the course out there :) Nice smile, though, seems very approachable, friendly, etc.

THREE: The professional headline is a great place to market your brand (value proposition, etc.).  Here, it looks like he is putting in stuff that might be keywords but I can’t really get through it. I would definitely change this to be something easier to read… perhaps something like “I manage metallurgists (metal engineers) and help companies design strong, light metal for consumer products” or something like that.  Dumb it down and make it understandable by someone outside of your industry.

CURRENT TITLE

linkedin_critique_Ram_2

I don’t see this section this long, usually, but I like it.  This seems to have a considerable amount of weight in the search engine results… so this is where you would put the key phrases someone would use to find you.  My only concern here is that Ram is putting too many things that he shouldn’t… for example, Outplacement, POAC (not related to his industry or profession), PETAG (what is that?  Is it relevant).  Manager is too generic – perhaps put engineering manager (he has that on the third bullet)… “available for a new leadership position” might be a misuse of this – not sure how many recruiters are looking for active candidates.

Great use of this section, I’d just review what words are put in and perhaps change them.

BRANDING STUFF / ON PURPOSE

linkedin_critique_Ram_3

ONE: I like how Ram (a) uses all three slots for the websites and (b) changed the names of each of the links. However, I’d give him an F for how he named them… none of these help me understand where I’m going to.  Is his personal website about his hobbies and home life?  Or is it really a professional blog about managing engineers?  Or is it about the science of metals?  When you customize the name, tell me what I’m going to before I click there.  Same with “my blogs,”… is that??  Also, why are you sending me to a LinkedIn invitation page?  There is a better way to say “please send me an invitation.”

TWO: I like it when people put their Twitter handle here… this is another way people can learn about, and communicate with, you. Ram has good tweets, but not good frequency on the tweets.

THREE: Ram has grabbed his “vanity URL,” which makes it look on-purpose… and would fit well on an email signature or business card.

SUMMARY

linkedin_critique_Ram_4

ONE: I like how Ram is putting contact information here and making it easy for people to reach out to him. I’d like to see more of this on LinkedIn.  I think the third line could put him in a compromising situation, though, and some people might find it a poor choice to even display it.  I had one of those (I’m not even writing the words in this post :p) but I don’t talk about it.

TWO: AFAIK there is no more IDK… AND, you are missing a period here.  Not to be nit-picky, but this will bug some people.  You woudn’t have a typeo on a resume… try and keep your Profile clean from errors.

THREE: I don’t really know what that means.  How about you say “I’m well-known to solve the toughest problems.  For example, when I was faced with ______” and then tell a story that supports that statement.  Read my Apprentice post for deeper insight into this idea.

FOUR: In this section I want (a) more white space! and (b) stories that support the cliche.  Everyone will say they are motivated, energetic, have extensive experience, proven expertise, effective, astute, problem solver, skilled, etc.  TELL ME STORIES THAT PAINT THE PICTURE!

FIVE: Usually I don’t care for bullet points here but these are okay, especially with the narrative above (in #four).

SIX: Good use of keywords… think about which keywords here should be in the narrative above (in the Summary) or in the current title.

Below the fold (scrolling down) there are a few other things to talk about, like:

  1. Good use of Box.net, but I’d recommend you showcase this on your BLOG, not here (or, in addition to here).
  2. You have the wordpress app installed, but you need to blog more because the third post there is the typical Hello World post… adds no value.
  3. In the experience section, you should put information in the first two positions (PETAG & LI Group).
  4. In the experience section, I really like how you start the info on Engineering Manager with “Dear colleagues:” and then write TO THEM.  Nice.  I would change the style (mor ewhite space, for sure), but nice touch.
  5. I would definitely focus on getting some Recommendations – you only have 3, even though you have over 500 contacts, and you have extensive experience.  Find people in your contact list that could/should Recommend you and ask them for a Recommendation.
  6. You are showing too many Groups on your Profile… only show the Groups that are supporting your brand as an expert or thought leader.

That’s about it… overall, very nice.  Make a few tweaks and it can be much better!

Want a LinkedIn Profile Critique like this? Let me know.  It is currently priced at $99.
  1. 6 Responses to “LinkedIn Profile Review and Critique: Ram Bhagat”

  2. By Ram Bhagat on Dec 17, 2010 | Reply

    Dear Jason:

    Thank you for your time. Your comments are very educative.

    Happy Holidays!

    Ram

  3. By Kim on Dec 18, 2010 | Reply

    As someone who is charging for LinkedIn services and blogging about it I would think you would know these two basic pieces of information:

    1. It is a violation of LinkedIn’s User Agreement to include contact information such as a phone number and email address in any part of a profile except where LinkedIn explicitly asks for it (see 10-B-4 of the User Agreement).

    2. There is most certainly still the “I Don’t Know” option. Either way, the more appropriate place for this is in the “Contact Settings” area rather than the “Summary.”

  4. By Jason Alba on Dec 19, 2010 | Reply

    Kim, um, thanks for the “gentle,” or LAME hand-slap. Much more tactful ways to leave a comment if you didn’t mean to be chastising.

    About your basic pieces of information that I should know:

    1. Good point – I said I LIKE what he is doing there. Regardless of what 10B4 says, I like it.

    In general, the LinkedIn police have come into a profile and taken out an email that has been put in the very top portion – then name fields. I think we should be able to put whatever personal information we feel comfortable with, though, in the Summary.

    So far LinkedIn has not taken a stand on this (even though their lawyers put that in 10B4). Until LinkedIn starts to pursue this in the summaries I’ll continue to LIKE what people are doing there, making it easy for people to contact them.

    2. Okay — thanks for the clarification (more information on HOW to get to IDK here, since they hid it: http://www.linkedin.com/answers/using-linkedIn/ULI/722106-4644548). I’ve read for months that it was gone — hiding it this way might as well make it gone.

    Whew, good thing I said AFAIK (as far as I know)… instead of a final statement of “it’s gone!”

    So much I want to say about what you wrote in your comment but I’m really trying to not write stuff I’ll regret later. Good luck to you.

  5. By Ginger Korljan on Jan 17, 2012 | Reply

    Jason,

    I reviewed Ram’s current LinkedIn profile, and am glad to see that he did get a new job. He took many of your suggestions but now all of them. Interesting…

    Do you prefer giving critiques to selling LinkedIn rewrites? Do you think that most people who receive your critique will/can follow your recommendations effectively?

  6. By Jason Alba on Jan 17, 2012 | Reply

    @Ginger, I definitely don’t do rewrites… I’ll leave that to professionals like you. Whether they can/will follow, I’m not sure. Many people only have this in their budget, and want to do as much as they can on their own… and others have enough money to buy a makeover.

    What have you found?

  7. By Brad Merrill on Jan 18, 2012 | Reply

    Jason – One thing I noticed – PETAG while on its own doesn’t mean anything to most people – the section in parentheses at least defines the acronym. And yes it is wordy, but he at least goes to the effort to define it for us that are outside his industry. It looks like he tells us what FASM is in his email signature – doesn’t help if not in profile somewhere.

    Unlike something like JD (juris doctor-law); CPA/CMA (Certified Public Accountant/Certified Management Accountant) or even and this is stretching it a bit – EA (Enrolled Agent) or CMI (Certified Member of the Institute- a tax certification that one can get for sales, property or income tax). Some of these are more well known to the general public than others.

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